Cali For Nia

Aloha from Arizona!  I just got here today after 12 beautiful, life-affirming days in southern California. When I arrived I rented a car for a day and used it as my motel room for a night because plans to stay with a friend fell through last minute and I figured a car was my best option. I got a free upgrade so it was a very roomy Kia Sorento and I really enjoyed my time in it, well driving it was awesome but the sleeping in it part was not as enjoyable because the temp was much cooler than I had anticipated. Anyway the next day I went to the 24 hr Fitness I used to frequent when I was going to school for massage therapy just down the street in 2008. It was fun being back and seeing what was the same and what had changed. Always improvements/expansions/new buildings when I visit.  The next two days I stayed with friends in Long Beach and spent most of our time on a boat which was relaxing and a great opportunity to get my tan on.  My third day in town, a 5-year facebook friend came to get me and that was the first time we had met in real life but as soon as we were next to each other in the car it was like we were old friends catching up and at the same time, discovering all of our previously unknown similarities. 
      We were essentially inseparable from that moment on and made lasting memories with each passing hour. We went to see Passafire, Stick Figure, and Tatanka play that night where I met a bunch of cool people including the producer of Sublime’s self-titled album, and many other songs/albums that were recorded at 17th St Studio in Costa Mesa. Which we ended up going to later that night. It was an honor to be where so much of my favorite music was recorded.  All the instruments and equipment was equally impressive including  keyboards played by Stevie Wonder and Bob Marley when they were recording. It was magical, so thanks to Sherie and Lewdog for that highlight!  

      One day I went to LA and met up with my friend Derek S. We did a lot of walking and too the train to Hollywood one night.  I really wanted to see someone I know and I asked Derek if he ever randomly ran into anyone he knows and he said no.  But to my great surprise, as we were crossing the street I saw my friend Brent!  It was really unexpected and so exciting to see a familiar face in an unfamiliar place. That was definitely a highlight. 

I went to some softball games, road bikes, fell off of bikes, skateboarded, went to Abalone Caves, went swimming, hung out with two of my favorite little kids who I’ve known their whole lives, Daniela and Santiago (cuter than ever), did yoga once, watched TV, ate more salmon than I have over the past year, danced to live music, local music (check out The Originalites, and Soul Drop), went to the farmer’s market, juiced, met really wonderful beings, took lots of pics, was in lots of pics, laughed harder than I have in a while, texted a little much, slept a little, had dinner with my California mom, and gave a couple massages. (I’m sure I’m leaving some things out)


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The Passions of Abby

Hi! Remember me?? Yeah, I used to write this blog. I’ve never done it regularly though… I guess that means I’m not very passionate about it. Lately, I haven’t felt very passionate about much actually. I used to LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE LIFE sooooooooooooo much. I wish I felt like that again. I’m happy but I miss that feeling of passion I had. I don’t know exactly what the problem is but I think it’s because I haven’t been connected lately. Why it was so easy for me in 2011? I have no idea. I am going to try and work harder this year at finding that again, and reconnecting with my passion for life and the people around me. I am on the right path now. I just have to have patience. I have been going on hikes a lot and have realized that I am passionate about climbing trees, jumping from rock to rock, and discovering new (to me) things. What does this mean? I should runaway and be Jane? I doubt it. But I hope my future holds more of these things!

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True Loves.

I’m glad I haven’t found my life partner [be he out there?], because I’ve had the opportunity to meet and spend yillitophic time with so many arupendious quallops (tired of using the same words so I’ve been making some up) over the years.  These are my ship-shapers, my mark-makers, and my life-art creators.  I am me because of you!  My smile is only beaming because I’m with you, or I’ve been influenced by you.  Your love and light lift me up and I can’t thank you or express my appreciation enough.

Yes, I am optimistic and easy-going by nature, but my experiences with you beat-makers are constantly reaffirming my faith in the power of love, kindness, laughter, generosity, and the countless other qualities that shine through you like sun through the rain drops of life.  You are the rainbow-makers!  And I will see you as such.

I’m typically not overly expressive of my feelings for you- but I hope you can sense it anyway.  I also want to take this moment (and more to come) to e x t e n d myself, and all that I have, to you.  I know I’m limited in a lot of ways (resources, skills, etc), but you can try me for anything.  Really good at massage and listening.

So basically, thank you to my friends and family for your countless contributions to my life-collage.  It is an intricate, most fascinating and pleasing sight/experience because of your colors.  I’m hoping that every day I will think of at least one of you and how you’ve affected me positively.  And I’ll try and let you know how you’re special and what you mean in my life.

[I would like to take this space to thank my parents first and foremost.  If I could choose only two people to have in my life it would be them.  They have been the most amazing exemplification of love in my life.  Without their support, generosity, sincerity, unconditional love, examples, encouragement, and DNA, I would not exist.  It’s because of Tom and Kay that I have so many friends and unbelievable, wonderful experiences.  I consider my parents to be the best two people I have ever met/known and I hope I have the opportunity to take care of and be there for them as they have for me.  I have to thank my grandparents as well of course- because without them I wouldn’t have such supreme beings to adore.]

I hope you all have at least one rainbow-maker in your lives, and know that you are one in mine.

My beautiful parents.

My beautiful parents.

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It’s been a LONG time..

I shouldn’t have left you…

In my realm of existence I am dealing with a loss of expressive words.  I haven’t looked at my blog in many many moons (until today).  Reading over what I have written brings many mixed emotions.  I am saddened because I feel like I’ve lost the magic in my life- but I am also inspired because I know that I can find it again if I just look and feel for it.

When I was writing blogs last year I was very “connected” to spirit or pure consciousness or whatever label there is to describe the guiding life force that binds the physical realm to the that which is feeling/emotion and intuition.  This year has been a great and wonderful year but I have to admit that even with every synchronistic event and uplifting insight- I can’t say that I’ve realized the heightened awareness that I experienced throughout the year of 2011.  I’ve had a more difficult time finding that inner silence this year.  I can’t tell you why either.  I have tried maintaining good habits like yoga and meditation and hooping and loving but haven’t had the success I seek. However I do feel that it’s still for a reason-allbeit frustrating at times.

This year I have learned more about struggles than last year– but still not nearly as much as my brothers and sisters.  I contemplate their realities and see my real weakness as an inability to really know where they are coming from.  This year I am thankful for the experiences that bring me closer to that reality of humanity.  This year I bring my own, comparatively small, obstacles to the table where I seek the help and inspiration of others to overcome setbacks and build a character that is strong- but more importantly relatable and empathetic to the trials of my fellow earthlings.

When we seek to understand one another we seek to be unified with them.  When we seek to be a part of something we seek wholeness.  When we seek that which binds us we seek love.  If you have been through a troubling time then you can look at another and hope better for them as you have for yourself.

This year has been full of trials and tribulations for everyone.  With the recent natural disasters in mind, I consider how important destruction really is.  When material objects are destroyed their importance is typically diminished and a realization of what truly matters becomes the saving grace of the seeming tragedy.  When a loss occurs we come together to mourn and also to lift each other up.  Anyone can throw money at a problem and hope it helps but the emotional damage must be repaired by the love and support of our friends, families and empathetic strangers.  The fact that we can all be empathetic strangers is important to the collective strength of our race and thusly, the health of this entire universe depends on our ability to stand up for each other and for the organism called earth.

I may not feel as connected to the esoteric thread that weaves it all together this year but I feel closer to humanity and I hope that what I have learned will aid me in serving others.  I am thankful for my friends and family for their support this year and I hope to pay it forward with the utmost respect for each individual and their situation.  Sometimes the best thing we can do is tell others how we are feeling and what we are going through because it brings us closer together and breaks down the walls that keep us from seeing we are all the same.

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From a book I am reading called “The Blooming of a Lotus”:

A human being should be as fresh as a flower, for indeed we are one species of flower in the garden of all phenomena.  We only need to look at the beauty of children to see that human beings are flowers.  Two round eyes are flowers.  The clear complexion of the face with its gentle forehead is a flower.  The two hands are a flower… It is only because we worry that our foreheads become wrinkled.  It is only because we cry so much and pass so many sleepless nights that our eyes are clouded.  We breathe in to restore the flower in us.  This in-breath bring the flower in us back to life.  The out-breath helps us be aware that we have the capacity to be, and are now, fresh as a flower.  This awareness waters our flower;  this is the practice of loving-kindness meditation toward ourselves.”

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We’re Jammin’

Everyone knows that you can’t force a blog if you’re not feeling it.  But here’s an update: I am loving summer and it is loving me back!


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I could write so much about words.

Why is “fuck” a “bad” word?  Could “love” ever be a “bad” word??
If you live in America, or anywhere, for that matter, you know that the McDonalds slogan is “I’m lovin’ it”.  How is it okay for them to blatantly misrepresent “love” like that?  “Lovin’ McDonalds” is a definitely a bad thing.  Thus the word “love” is bad, in that sentence.  If I “love” my family, how can I “love” McDonalds?  It makes ZERO sense.  Why is it so acceptable to use the word “love” to mean such different things?
What’s the more intelligent response to this question:  “How do you feel about terrorism?”
A1:  “It’s fucked up.”
A2: “I’m lovin’ it.”
Now if you get to the basic root meaning of the two sentences by considering the meaning of the words, you will unbiasedly determine that A1 is obviously more intelligent than A2 because it uses the most accurate depiction of terrorism by calling it “disturbing/obtrusive/wrong“.  And A2, has an opinion that could technically be unacceptable because of the true definition of “love“.  I know that the public opinion would agree with A1, but they wouldn’t agree with the chosen word “fucked” because of this idea in their heads that a word can be offensive.  If this is the case, then I take offense to the word love being misused by so many, especially McDonalds.  I also want to call them out for using the word “happy” so much.  “Happy” Meals should be named “Lots of bad stuff” Meals.  And their slogan should be “I’m addicted to it.”

The word “addicted” is another one I would like to expand upon.  We all know that being addicted is a “bad” thing.  Being devoted is one thing, but addiction is something different.  It usually means that one does not have control over whether or not they do something.  It’s a compulsion, they must, or they will suffer some sort of withdrawal.  So why is it that we chastise people who are addicted to drugs, gambling, alcohol, etc. at the same time we see billboard ads for “addictively good chocolate.”

I don’t have the answers to my questions about words.  I know that I misuse words sometimes, and I find my language tendencies often mirror those I am with.  When I am around people who use strong language that some might consider “bad”, I am more inclined to do the same.  When I am around people who are easily offended by such words, I keep them inside and replace them with words that will get my point across most efficiently.
I understand our desire to have “bad” words, but if we must enforce rules upon those who use them, we should also move to have some sacred “good” words that we cherish.  Those who regard the word “fuck” as “bad” should stand up for “love” and condemn the misrepresentation of it in our lives.

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